Weird Body: Mark Teixeira's Facial Expressions

The people have spoken and this person has listened - PHS returns with another installment of Weird Body.  In the inaugural post on Post Hype Sleeper, we paid homage to the, uhhh, peculiar shape of Placido Polanco's head. This episode features the visage of Yankee first baseman Mark Charles Teixeira. Tex, as his teammates call him, hails from Maryland, played college ball in Georgia, and was drafted by the Texas Rangers.**  Mark has also been blessed (TYBG) with only two true facial expressions: overt, naked happiness and unequivocal, unambiguous fear. Everything else is merely a shade of grey along the continuum of this dichotomy. Come join me as we embark along Tex's (pronounced te-sh-es) well-emotioned face.

Pregame Mark is a jovial caricature of himself. See how he deploys the old "super glue the ball to the tip of your finger" trick? You fooled me Tex!

Positioned at the absolute center of bliss and angst, Mark is displaying his "Blue is Teal" pose he learned from Derek Zoolander.

Mark is more than a little scared of Reggie - but who isn't?

"Why is a person standing on that dirt hill? OMG OMG OMG HE'S LOOKING AT ME! You - in the armor! Gimme your mask! This guy looks like he's got something in his hand!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hethrewithethrewithethrewit ohmygosh ican'tdothis iwantmymommy

**PHEW! I was beginning to think his nickname was just another derivative of the first-initial-followed-by-the-first-syllable-of-the-lastname nickname. Oh? It's just a shittier version of that? Okay carry on.